JK is back in my good books (which is good because I know she was worried about it)

“A book of fairy tales created, handwritten and illustrated by J.K. Rowling sold for nearly $4 million at auction Thursday.” The money is going to a charity she set up. 

“The Children’s Voice campaigns for children’s rights across Europe, especially in Eastern Europe, where many children and teenagers grow up in institutions, often in what many activists regard as unacceptable conditions.”

Just mucking around

 Here is another follow up image from Jennifer Fallon’s blog post

A cover with Jedi and Palm trees (and a ute to butch it up a bit).

I think I’m pissed off with JK Rowling

Don’t get me wrong, I have had the “what does gay mean, dad?” chat with my sons.  And no, “some of my best friends” aren’t gay, but I worked as nurse for 15 years along side some pleasant and capable gay men & women (and some dickheads).  Let me also say, I enjoyed reading the Harry Potter series. 

What annoys me about JK’s revelation is the unsubstantiated, retrospective nature of her proclamation.  There is no evidence or suggestion of Dumbledore’s* homosexuality in the series.  (Ok, he’s an elderly, single, male teacher in a British private school, which may be cause for suspicion).  

It’s all good and well for her to take a political/moral stance, but she is taking the decision about introducing the subject of homosexuality out of the hands of millions of parents who have already, or are currently, reading the book to their kids. 

To me, it looks like a gratuitous act of politically correct grandstanding.  For f**ks sake, go wear a ribbon, make a donation, set up a foundation (she’s got the cash).   

As is my nature, let me also cynically point out that she didn’t make the announcement until after she had stuffed her duffle bag with cash from the proceeds.**  

If JRR Tolkien had said, “by the way, Sam had a bit of an unfulfilled ‘broke back’ inclination toward Frodo” I would have said “well ok, I can see that”.  I still would have been annoyed at the retrospectivity, but at least he could make a case for statement. 

Do it up front, or don’t do it at all.  Let parents know what they are getting into before they buy the bloody book. 

Actually remove the “I think” from the title, I am pissed with JK Rowling, and I not sure I’ll be buy any of her future books.  She doesn’t respect her readers and I don’t trust her.  

*Has anyone else noticed that “Dumbledore” is in the MS Word 2003 spell check dictionary, but Tolkien and Snape aren’t. 

**As an aside, this was also the case for John Newton who wrote Amazing Grace.  Despite his miraculous conversion, he kept on captaining slave ships.  His public anti-slaving stance only occurred after illness forced him to retire from the sea and out of the business.    

Jedi Covers- The secret of success?

Jennifer Fallon offers this sage advice to writers.

“The one secret ingredient to ensure success, which came to me the other day, although I’m not sure why. Probably it was hanging around Supanova and seeing all those Jedi in costume. But I now know the secret to a bestselling cover.

You have to put a Jedi on it.”

Enid Blyton’s publishers are revising their covers as we speak.

 

http://www.jenniferfallon.com.au/blog/index.cfm/2007/10/19/The-Magic-Coconut-Strikes-Back  

Serenity vs Starwars

Note:  This has nothing to do with writing – I am just letting my geek flag fly.

I have just watched Serenity.  I borrowed a digital projector from work.  I put the speakers  on either side of my arm chair.  I waited until the family had gone to bed.

Holy s**t what a movie!

I remember seeing Star Wars for the first time (the first one, before it was Episode IV) and having a similar reaction.  For those under 35, it was the first time we had seen a future that looked real, and used.  But Serenity had all that, plus better characters and a  stronger storyline.  It may be the best Sci-fi movie I have seen.

So here is my revised top five, all time greatest, Sci-fi films.

Serenity
Star Wars (Ep IV)
2001
Blade Runner
Silent Running

Special Mentions to:
Total Recall
The Matrix
Tank Girl
Mad Max
Dark Star

What have I missed.  Challenges welcome.

Insane optimism

My MP3 player temporaily died leading to a  sudden burst of writing.  Instead of sitting on the train listening to podcasts about writing I found myself actually writing.

I started considering what would happen if this mass of loosely connected gags and mime jokes (and who doesn’t like putting the boot into a mime) ever got published.

Obviously, the first thing to consider is an affectation.  Pratchett has his hat, Byron had his bad boy image and pirate shirts, Robert Rankin – loud shirts and beer.  Barbra Cartland had that whole zombie look (I really hope Stephen King’s look is an affectation).

I’ve got a dicky knee from an Australian Rules football injury so I’m leaning toward a cane.  Something in an Australian blackwood with the Phantom’s head on top (should it be in silver or purple? I can’t decide), oh, and a sword inside, which I could brandish drunkenly at the paparazzi in my sad declining years.

There’s a fairly well established tradition amongst Australian celebs for taking on foriegn accents  (Kylie Minogue, Elle McPhearson, Mel Gibson etc)  so I might give that a go.  Perhaps a Dick van Dyke style cockney (if you’re too young to get that gag, go rent Mary Poppins).

I’m also considering Red shoes, but only for radio interviews, and if anyone asks why I’ll get stroppy and storm out.

It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

People Like Us

I’d like to collect a list of blogs for my blogroll category ‘People Like Us’, that is writers documenting their journey toward publication.   I know there are hundreds out there, but which ones are worth reading?

My preference is for smart and/or funny.  (You’re allowed to suggest yourself, I appreciate a healthy ego).

Any suggestions?

‘The Show’ is over

Ze Frank’s ‘The Show‘ is finishing today. The Show is a short daily video show that addresses stuff in the world around us. I know that’s vague but it’s the best I can do. From the start it was a one year project running from 16th March 2006 to 16 March 2007.

The Show is one of those landmark internet phenomena and now it’s over.

You can still check out the archives. The show on ideas was a cracker and worth a look.

“no matter how much you plan you still have to do something for the first time. And you’re almost guaranteed the first time you do something it’ll blow. But somebody who does something bad three times still has three times the experience of that other person who’s still dreaming of all the applause.”

It even had a song “Where the f**k do ideas come from“

Crying with a smile

My uncle knew his body was wearing out. He picked this for his funeral.

All Is Well

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used

Put no difference in your tone,

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,

Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,

Just around the corner.

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918

How not to write a novel part 3 – Inserting scenes

There is some advice floating around which I think you need to be wary of. It goes something like this.

Keep writing until the novel is finished if you get stuck just put a note in the margin ‘insert x scene here’ and move on.

This is a trap. The temptation is to keep writing the fun bits (e.g. the fart jokes) and leave all the scenes that are a bit hard (e.g. key plot points, character development) until later.

I thought I was finished until I went back and started looking at those ‘insert here’ scenes.

What the f**k was I thinking.

Here are some examples of bits of your story that should not relegated to an ‘insert scene’ note in the margin.

A scene where:

• the wise old man explains how the entire world functions,

• the bad guy explains the totality of his motivation and or diabolical plan,

• the good guy comes up with the idea to use a magical item (note to self – write in a magical item earlier in the story) to defeat the penultimate bad guy (note to self – write in a penultimate bad guy),

• the good guy, cocky from his earlier victory, starts getting beaten by the ultimate bad guy, but uses some subliminally acquired knowledge (note to self – insert prior action to acquire the subliminal knowledge) to defeat the bad guy,

This one was a beauty “write a meaningful travel scene” to get characters from point A to point B. What?!? What does that mean?
I swear, I need to hire someone to look over my shoulder and smack me in the back of the head when I write something that dumb.