Jedi Covers- The secret of success?

Jennifer Fallon offers this sage advice to writers.

“The one secret ingredient to ensure success, which came to me the other day, although I’m not sure why. Probably it was hanging around Supanova and seeing all those Jedi in costume. But I now know the secret to a bestselling cover.

You have to put a Jedi on it.”

Enid Blyton’s publishers are revising their covers as we speak.

 

http://www.jenniferfallon.com.au/blog/index.cfm/2007/10/19/The-Magic-Coconut-Strikes-Back  

Serenity vs Starwars

Note:  This has nothing to do with writing – I am just letting my geek flag fly.

I have just watched Serenity.  I borrowed a digital projector from work.  I put the speakers  on either side of my arm chair.  I waited until the family had gone to bed.

Holy s**t what a movie!

I remember seeing Star Wars for the first time (the first one, before it was Episode IV) and having a similar reaction.  For those under 35, it was the first time we had seen a future that looked real, and used.  But Serenity had all that, plus better characters and a  stronger storyline.  It may be the best Sci-fi movie I have seen.

So here is my revised top five, all time greatest, Sci-fi films.

Serenity
Star Wars (Ep IV)
2001
Blade Runner
Silent Running

Special Mentions to:
Total Recall
The Matrix
Tank Girl
Mad Max
Dark Star

What have I missed.  Challenges welcome.

Is mime evil?

Marcel Marceau has a lot to answer for.  Perhaps I’m being overly influenced by 101 Reasons to Stop Writing, but I think it is incumbent on people who are extremely talented to make some effort to make their job look difficult to discourage would be imitators.

First, let me say I think Marcel Marceau was a genius.  As a teenager I saw him.  A skinny man on a dark stage, interacting with a world made out of thin air.  Pure magic.

But what he spawned was evil, not quite karaoke evil, although this could be debated.
Like all true evils, Marcel Marceau’s magic world of mime was seductive.  I admit I was not immune, when I got home I tried ‘Walking into the wind” (later pinched by Michael Jackson and called the Moonwalk), and my brother can still do a commendable lizard trapped in a bottle, but we had the good sense to leave it at that.

What do normal people do if they have a passion but don’t quite have commercial talent?  Well, most people do the respectable thing, and confine their efforts to local arts groups (and good on them for having a crack).  You can see Uncle Dave’s drawings at the annual Lilydale show, or watch your niece in the Mooroolbark Players version of ‘Summer of the Seventeenth Doll’.  Fantastic.

Most people are content to restrict their activities to consenting adults behind closed doors. 

But not Mimes. 

They have to take it to the streets.  They have to impose their mediocre talents on innocent shoppers.  Busking, and worse – street theatre.  (I hate street theatre, actually, I don’t hate it, I just feel embarrassed for the people doing it).

I don’t watch the various Idol programs, but they do have one redeeming feature, they clearly show the deluded, bedroom mirror singers where the bar is, and slap them down when they don’t reach it.

Perhaps the best way to honour Marcel Marceau’s passing is to form “Clockwork Orange’ style judging panels that roam shopping malls, taking out mediocre transgressors of the Silent Art.

What has this to with writing?  Well not much, except to say writing is easy but writing well is hard.  It requires effort, and practice, and research.  Just because J.K. is so successful she can now buy Wales, doesn’t mean you will be or can be.

Luckily, it’s hard for writers to delude themselves, as we have crit groups, friends, family, publishers, agents, editors, and occasionally complete strangers, all quite willing to tell us how crap we are (unless you do the literary equivalent of busking and self publish).

So farewell Marcel, you may have left a dodgy legacy, but at least they’re quiet.

How not to write a novel – Part 6. The fallacy of word count

One of the common questions asked by new authors is how long should my novel be.  The common number seems to be around 100,000, but not for any defined literary purpose – the reason – it’s not too thick for the printers and but still thick enough to meet the publisher’s market research requirements. 

100,000 words!  Try and find any other time in your life when producing 100,000 words was a reasonable expectation.  You could do a 3 year degree and an Masters and still get change from 100,000.

What if you have written the world’s greatest story in 40,00 words – well the advice is to add some new characters and put in some more conflict – put in more words.

What about other advice for new writers?
Set yourself targets, write 1,000 words a day, keep writing until you finish – produce words.

How I loved seeing my word count creep up.  I stuck Post It notes to my monitor tracking my monthly progress.  Then I cracked the 100k. Yippee!  I’ve done it!
  Bow down to me, the great and witty author.  Harken to me for I have written a book.
 
Then I looked at what I’d produced. 

My word count has been around the 100K mark for almost 2 years and I’m still not finished.

As a new writer the risk is, that instead of a story, you end up producing a 100,000 word example of bloody minded persistence.

I think, if you’re being honest, what writing your first book teaches you is you don’t yet have the skills to write a book.

Insane optimism

My MP3 player temporaily died leading to a  sudden burst of writing.  Instead of sitting on the train listening to podcasts about writing I found myself actually writing.

I started considering what would happen if this mass of loosely connected gags and mime jokes (and who doesn’t like putting the boot into a mime) ever got published.

Obviously, the first thing to consider is an affectation.  Pratchett has his hat, Byron had his bad boy image and pirate shirts, Robert Rankin – loud shirts and beer.  Barbra Cartland had that whole zombie look (I really hope Stephen King’s look is an affectation).

I’ve got a dicky knee from an Australian Rules football injury so I’m leaning toward a cane.  Something in an Australian blackwood with the Phantom’s head on top (should it be in silver or purple? I can’t decide), oh, and a sword inside, which I could brandish drunkenly at the paparazzi in my sad declining years.

There’s a fairly well established tradition amongst Australian celebs for taking on foriegn accents  (Kylie Minogue, Elle McPhearson, Mel Gibson etc)  so I might give that a go.  Perhaps a Dick van Dyke style cockney (if you’re too young to get that gag, go rent Mary Poppins).

I’m also considering Red shoes, but only for radio interviews, and if anyone asks why I’ll get stroppy and storm out.

It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.

People Like Us

I’d like to collect a list of blogs for my blogroll category ‘People Like Us’, that is writers documenting their journey toward publication.   I know there are hundreds out there, but which ones are worth reading?

My preference is for smart and/or funny.  (You’re allowed to suggest yourself, I appreciate a healthy ego).

Any suggestions?

Research and Dog’s Testicles

There is a joke. Why do dogs lick their balls?…Because they can.

What has this got to do with writing and research? Well, recently I abandoned a book I was reading and I’m a bit annoyed about it. I feel cheated. I was quite enjoying the story.

It thought it was going to be a medieval fantasy with a slight historical leaning; it turned out to be more of a historical novel with a slight fantasy leaning. Not a big problem, lots of action, the characters were shaping up nicely.

Then the historical accuracies started to intrude.

You know, I really don’t care what they called a horse brush in 16th century France. And the Samurai – I know he’s Japanese, he’s a Samurai. I don’t need the the pace bogged down by him not understanding English and Western Culture. Set up the character, make the point and move on.

The point I’m trying to make is, the reader should not be aware of how much research you have done. A work of fiction is allowed to gloss over some things to keep the story moving.

So the message – Just because you can, it doesn’t mean you should.

Blogs of authors I haven’t read.

In my regular trawl through the grimy cesspit that is the internet, I occasionally stumble across an author’s blog. Now, most of these are pretty ordinary affairs, limited to a bit of B grade self promotion. It seems many authors haven’t figured out that writing a ‘promotional’ blog is a specific skill that needs to be developed and honed just like their novel writing. But every now and then I come across one I like so much I have to subscribe to it.

Some of these authors I haven’t read.

Christopher Moore He writes fantasy humour and I probably will read his stuff, if I can ever find it. The layout of his blog is a bit different, but his site is really well set up to support the community of readers. The photos from his trip to England are just wonderful. He doesn’t appear to have much of an Australian following, so I may have to delve into the murky world of online bookstores. It’s about time I got a debit card.

Deep Genre is a collective blog (sounds a bit Borg when you say it like that) by 10 Spec Fic authors including Katharine Kerr, Kate Elliot, Constance Ash and David Louis Edelman. It’s a bit sporadic, but they do delve into the writing side occaisionally – worth subscribing to.

Some I authors will never read. Case in point – Maureen Johnson. Maureen writes YA for teen girls. I am not her target demographic. But her blog is hilarious.

I mentioned Jennifer Fallon in a previous rant about dodgey book covers, she is another person who knows how to knock up a funny blog. Unfortunately she no longer fits the category of “Blogs of authors I haven’t read”. I was in the university second hand book shop and spotted her name, so I bit the bullet and bought her first novel – Medalion. It still has a taffeta elf on the cover, but the overall colour is a bit brown, so I figured I could read it in public without fatally damaging my masculine persona. Well, now I’m hooked. I’m not sure what I’ll do when I get up to the pink covered, Lion of Senet.

I guess I’ll just have to tear the cover off an old Clive Cussler novel to hide it in.

Mono myth Follow up

I’ve had a bit of feedback from the Myth Man himself Gregory Lemon.

” Thanks for the plug.  Yes, the book was dry but I enjoyed reading it.  I hope everyone enjoys the Monomyth Series that I created.

Three shows (4, 5, 6) are on the Monomyth and a fourth (8) on an example of the Monomyth using an unlikely hero. 

Best of luck to all authors! Or break a leg!”

What a nice chap.

The Monomyth made easy.

If you are writing fantasy you may have heard of Joseph Campbell, and the Hero with a thousand faces.  It’s the supposed inspiration for many fantasy stories; a classic recent example is the Star Wars series.  Before you get all geeky and rush out to read it, a quick word of advice.  It’s a boring, deathly dull, scholarly work.

So, where can you find out about this cornerstone of thousands of cliche ridden, piles of dross dozens of great fantasy novels?

Well, you’re in luck, Gregory Lemon over on the Myth Show podcast has just finished up a series on the Monomyth. The content is still a bit dry, but not as bad as reading the original for your self.

If you want a quick read on the subject check out the Mono myth Wikipedia entry.

And a quick update on the Naked Novelist Podcast.  Brendan Gullifer is now hosting a writing show on a local public radio station (the great 3CR) called, Published or Not.   His podcast is now based on this show. It’s tight and well focused, and I highly recommend it.